It has been a long time since I have been in this space. I forgot how quickly the forward momentum of life can catch us up into a great whirlwind of activity. Often, I find myself thinking “I hope life won’t be like this forever. I need to slow down”. I don’t want to be always attempting to accomplish ten things at once and simultaneously chiding myself for not being able to do more. When I am doing one thing, I am always thinking about how I am not doing another.
There are still pounds of berries and cherries in the freezer waiting to become jam.
A pile of laundry seems to always be accumulating on my bedroom floor.
What should I make for dinner?
I need to get to the garden to harvest.
Should I plant a fall crop of pole beans or just put my green thumb to rest until another summer season?
That quilt still needs batting and backing.
Only a few more rows on the baby sweater.
Order the pathology text book for that class in September.
Don’t forget the doctor appointments and meetings and the research for women’s health initiatives that needs to be presented.
Any time to do some physical activity?
I think it is rhythm I am looking for as opposed to this free-falling feeling.
Once I’ve gotten up this mountain of a “to-do” list, I am hoping that there is a quiet place at the top. A place in an old farmhouse or converted barn with a sunny room for sewing, an open kitchen for bread baking and jam making, land for a big garden and a bit for chickens too, a grassy hill for children to roll down, a good man who will build me a potting shed, and a community that needs a nurse practitioner who will come, even in the middle of the night, when someone needs mending.